Please and Thank You

My husband has been approached about an amazing job opportunity, please pray that God will lead him where He wants him. This would be a huge pay increase, but I don't want that to cloud our desires. Please keep us in your prayers. Thanks!

Dreaming

I'm a dreamer. I'll admit it. I love having big plans and big dreams. It makes me feel alive. The down side of being a dreamer is that it makes me a bit of a flake. I can finally admit that too. I am notorious for starting things and not finishing them because I find something bigger and better to jump in to. This makes my life a little crazy, but it's how I'm wired. I've accepted it, but I have also resolved to stop the pattern from time to time. I can't always be this way...I must grow up. SO, when I signed up for my triathlon I knew I would be SUPER excited for a couple of weeks and then I would hit that wall and want to flake out. The great news is that I haven't done it. YES, I've been tempted. I'm still tempted, but I am realizing that this triathlon training is changing me in the best ways possible. It is teaching me the value of discipline, it is teaching me that I must make decisions daily (hourly) that will impact my training. I have had to change my lifestyle, I am now eating better and taking better care of myself. I've been in training now for 10 weeks. THAT is huge for me. HUGE. I am sticking with it and loving it. Perfect example...last night we went to the Rangers game with our neighbors. Tempations EVERYWHERE. Hot dogs, nachos, beer...all of the things that I would have normally chosen. I made the choice last night to turn these things down.

I think God uses our strengths AND our weaknesses to reach us. This is so evident to me right now in my life. God is using my passion of physical activity and competition to engage me, and now I am applying the discipline that this triathlon is forcing me to have to most areas of my life. It is amazing to go through. God knows I'm a dreamer and can be flaky(and He loves me for it!)...and He's showing me the ways to find a perfect balance.

Girls Girls Girls

My neighbor decided to put together a girls night out so we all headed down to Pete's Dueling Piano Bar in Ft. Worth. What a blast! We had such a great time and it was exactly what I needed. :) I am so thankful for great friends and for such a cool life. I am truly blessed.

I Heart Rafting

I finally got our annual White Water Rafting trip booked and I couldn't be more excited! We are going to Colorado on June 9-11 for our 3rd year of rafting. We booked the Double Dip this year, which is Class III and IV rapids all day instead of just half the day like we normally do. It is so intense. The water is FREEZING. Our guide is constantly yelling at us to stay together and listen to him...if we don't we run the risk of going overboard. That is NOT good. It is such a rush!!! Here is our picture from last year.

Sugar Blues

I have been reading a lot lately on the effects of refined sugar on the body. I was shocked! I am really trying to get my diet right, trying to get ready for a Texas summer where I'll be in training for most of it for my triathlon. My body has to be in good shape to withstand it, and it has to start with nutrition. Just a side note...I am REALLY dreading this summer, it was 101 here yesterday. In. April. That is insane! But...I digress. Refined sugar. Get ready for this. IT is NOT an essential in our diets. HOW disappointing. I guess I just always assummed that it has SOME purpose. It has NONE. Actually, it is more poison than anything to our bodies. I say this is a "poison" because it has been depleted of its life forces, vitamins and minerals. Refinded sugar is really just pure refined carbs, and the body does not know how to break down and use this refined starch. I will try to link the articles that I read, but meanwhile here is something interesting that I read out of it. We all know that sugar is a major factor in dental decay, but did you know that the REMOVAL of sugar from the diet has cured symptoms of crippling and worldwide diseases such as diabetes, cancer and heart illnesses??? Amazing. It comes down to the simple fact that if we keep our diet as raw as possible (I think of raw as only eating the things that God intended for us to eat), our bodies will virtually maintain themselves. We have amazing bodies. SO, last night was our grocery store night...and I was telling Curt on the way to the store about the articles I had read and he was almost sick about it! We agreed that we would really be conscientious on what we bought. I will admit that it was SO hard to buy good food. We loaded up on so many fresh fruits and veggies...strawberries, spinach, tomatoes, carrotts, bananas, bell peppers, apples, oranges...so that was the easy part. We start heading down the aisles and when we'd reach for something we normally buy, like fruit snacks for Connor, I would read the label. OH. MY. GAH. The sugar in those things is outrageous. I felt so sheepish for just now realizing it. Good thing is that you can find most things sugar free. We traded our regular pasta for whole wheat pasta, our tortillas and bread for whole wheat also. We skipped the ice cream aisle and loaded up on granola bars for our sweet tooth. It took us 2 hours to shop because we had to stop and read the label for everything. I know it was worth it though, we are fueling our bodies with healthy food, and that will take us a long way. Be aware of the sugar content that is on the label. The articles can be found here and here. Are you so glad I wrote about this? A cookie and a coke will never be the same. :)

Thought for the day, "Life offers many choices, eternity only offers two." Author Unknown.

Easter pictures

T-ball, Eggs and Family

I got to drive down to the coast this weekend to see my mom and my sister and her family. We had such a great time! I drove down on Thursday night. My mom and I really got to visit for a long period of time. It gets harder and harder to have one on one time with her! She's a popular woman. I love talking to her and listening to her talk. She is one of the those people that really listen when you talk. She never offers advice that is unwarranted. She is so insightful and such a joy to be around. I am so blessed to have such a positive influence in her. Friday I went over to my sister's house and played baseball with the kids in the front yard. That is always such a fun time because they just make up their own rules and are so carefree about it. Saturday I went to the boys' tball game. That was so hilarious...those kids have no idea about the concept of it, which is what makes it so adorable. If the ball is hit to the pitcher, he'll just chase down the batter instead of throwing it to first. TOO cute. The boys played good, every time they would bat they would turn around and wave to make sure we were watching. So funny. After the tball game we went back to my sisters house and painted Easter Eggs. It was so fun to just watch the kids. I love being able to be a part of their lives. All in all, it was a very relaxing weekend with my family. My hubby didn't get to join us because he had to work on Friday. :( When I got home Sunday, he had cleaned the whole house so I could come home and not worry about it. He is so sweet. I really missed him and am glad to be back. Yesterday we went to his sister's house and went swimming and had a big Easter lunch. It was a great weekend with our family. We are truly blessed.

I did get 2 runs in this weekend and I felt SO much better! My mom also gave me a yoga CD and I tried to do it with her watching but she kept commenting on how "bad that has to hurt" and I couldn't quit laughing. My abs got a good workout if nothing else. This week I have 3 runs scheduled, 3 nights of weights, and 2 core workouts. I am looking forward to it! My triathlon is only 5 months away now! YEAH! I can't wait.

I'll post some Easter pictures a little bit later today!

Today's verse: 1 Corinthians 1:18, "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the Power of God."

Back at it!

It is amazing how much being sick hurt my running progress. I knew that I was coming down with something last Thursday when I started my yoga routine and fell flat on my face. I had no muscle strength. I started to load up on the vitamin C and made sure I got enough rest...but I wasn't proactive enough. I was in bed from Friday until Sunday. I am finally feeling better and went out for a run last night. Geez! It was very trying. My 5 miles usually feels great, but I was really hurting after mile 1. :( It just made me appreciate my health even more. My health is one thing that I never want to take for granted, and I am trying to make lifestyle changes so that I can preserve it.

I don't have much time so I'm outta here! Have a great day.

I'm not fat, I'm CURVY

I just love the fact that my husband tries his best to have tact when it comes to my weight and how he perceives it. After he hugged me last night, he pinched my waist and said, "OOOHH, your curves are disappearing." He was sincerely disappointed. It really cracked me up. He is forever complimenting my curves, even when my "curves" were truly just fat. I have been in training for my triathlon now for almost 2 months. I have lost a few inches here and there and gained a lot of muscle and fitness in the process. I don't know the amount of weight I have lost because I don't own a scale. My running is becoming so much easier and I am really looking forward to start my training on my bike and in the pool. It is funny how we set unattainable goals though. When I first started this, I wanted to get down to 115 lbs. I am only 5'3" so that weight is within my healthy range. Well, I have since got to terms with the fact that this will NEVER happen. I am not even sure I was 115 lbs 12 years ago. I have too many muscles and "curves". I embrace it. I love being freakishly strong. It's part of who I am. I was running the other day and a couple of ladies ran by me. They were so thin I thought they would probably get caught in the next burst of wind and I would have to anchor them down. It was so sad to me, I got to thinking that they must starve themselves and work out non stop. That is no way to live. It really made me appreciate my curves. :) Women out there-learn to appreciate and love your body. We all are unique and amazing.

It's going to be a long one!

This could be a long post, and it is mostly just for therapeutic purposes on my part, so if you stop reading now I'll understand. I have been feeling so sad about my dad lately, I can't seem to shake the feeling of complete loss. You see, my dad and I don't have a relationship any more. We don't speak and haven't really spoken (other than meaningless small talk) in several years. I still can't put my finger on when it got so bad. My dad was so wonderful when we were growing up. He always provided for us and supported us. He was at every event that any of us were in...football games, basketball games, cheerleading, band concerts...he went to it all and was so proud of all of us. One of my best memories growing up was when my dad took me to the State Basketball Tournament in Austin. I am a HUGE basketball fan and was recruited out of high school to play in college. My junior year, my dad drove me to Austin and we watched 3 days of non stop basketball. We got to really know eachother, we hung out and had a great time. I appreciated it then, but the older I get, the more I appreciate it. At the end of my senior year my dad had major heart surgery. He had quadruple bypass surgery and ended up staying in the hospital for weeks due to an infection he got. He was in ICU for so long. My mom stayed there with him, it was a long year for all of us. We left for college that summer and I guess that is when things started to decline. The beginning of the end.

Most of what happened it pretty personal and painful. It is hard to watch a family fall apart, or rather implode. Things got really bad between my parents and after 30+ years of marriage, they divorced. Now, divorce is painful no matter how old you are, but it was particularly painful for me and my siblings. We were faced with the situation of remaining loyal to both parents, who now live across the state from each other are not exactly on speaking terms. Maybe it could have been easier, maybe we could have all tried a little bit harder to make things work...but for reasons that are beyond my understanding, my dad is now in self induced isolation. I truly believe that he has a chemical imbalance that causes him to think and act irrationally and that is where a lot of the problems stem from. All I know is that I miss my dad. I miss his support and his love. I am sure that deep down he still loves me, but it is hard to truly believe that when he refuses to talk to me. I am not saying that I have gone above and beyond to try and communicate with him because some days I simply have given up on trying to have a relationship with him. Then there are the days when I just need my father. I need him to console me and tell me that things will be ok. I need him to tell me that he loves me. I need to see him and hug him and feel that feeling that was lost so many years ago. I ache for the fact that he will never get to see my future children play, he will never teach them how to shoot a basketball like he taught me, they will never know what a kind man he used to be. So much good that is in me comes from that man of yesterday. I am constantly faced with the question of what would have been easier...to never have had a great father, like he was...or to have it this way. I guess I will never be able to answer that question.

I pray for him, I think about him all of the time and I truly believe that God can salvage our relationship if our hearts are willing. You see, I love my God, my Heavenly Father, with every part of my being. I love the comfort that He provides, I love the fact that He is always with me and is constantly watching over me. I love that He loves me, no matter how much I mess up. I adore the fact that I am His child and He is my Father. I am eternally grateful for my relationship with Him. This fact still remains...I would give anything to have that kind of relationship with my earthly father. I miss him. It's the strangest feeling, missing someone that is still here. It's the kind of feeling that causes me to toss and turn at night. It's the feeling that makes me weep without any warning. On the other hand, it is a feeling that causes me to be grateful that I still FEEL anything at all. There is hope. There is always hope.

Shout Out!

My beautiful sister in law and my marvelous twin brother have been married 2 years today! Happy Anniversary to them, I pray for many happy years to come. There is nothing like seeing my twin so happy and so in love with his wife...thank you L for helping him become the man that God wants him to be. I love you both very much! I would post a picture of the two of them but I am such a bad sister, I DON'T HAVE ONE. Geez. Here is one of her and I last summer.