Too Soon?

Is it too soon to hit a wall in my journey? I swear it is. I've only been training for a month and last night I hit a wall. I got home and sat on my couch and opened a package of cookies and consumed them gluttonously. I started really questioning myself, I started to realize how HARD this is going to be. I convinced myself that I should do something normal like try to have a baby with my husband. (We put this plan on hold so that I can chase this crazy dream). I told myself that 5 days out of the 6 that I have scheduled to train are going to be challenging. I told myself that it is ok to quit, it is ok. No one would be mad, every one would understand. Then I cried. Tears flowed for a solid hour. I cried until my sleeve was drenched and my head was pounding. I felt alone and it sucked. I wanted to go take a hot bath and crawl into my bed. I wanted to put on my "fat pants" and eat ice cream and watch old re-runs of Seinfeld. I wanted to do so many things, but I did the opposite. My will to want to accomplish this dream finally showed back up and conquered the demons in my head. I laced up my shoes and ran. I ran until my legs burned and the sweat replaced the tears on my sleeves. I ran until my legs wouldn't go any more. I began to feel motivated again...and hope took the place of despair. I realized that I was not as weak as I had just convinced myself. By the time I made it back to my house my husband was home. I walked in the front door and he greeted me with a hug and told me how proud he was of me. I went to bed feeling happy and relieved that I had won the mental battle that I presented to myself. I got up this morning with sore legs and put on (for the first time in almost a year) my skinny pants. Ahhh, now I am back on track.

I think with any major challenge that we are faced with, doubt will creep in unsuspectingly and take over if we let it. To me, this falls into such a spiritual battle category. God shouts to us "YES-YOU CAN DO THIS", the Devil whispers in our ear, "NO YOU CAN'T-YOU ARE WEAK". I choose to believe in my God. He gives me a spirit of courage and determination and by reaching my goal, I will glorify Him.

Remember...if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten. Don't settle for complacency. We were meant to live for so much more.

Why I'm going to Tri

Now that my news is out about my upcoming triathlon, I am forced to define my reasoning on WHY I would choose to do this. I have had the majority of the people say, "You must be crazy." Maybe I am...That would explain a lot of what goes on in my brain. :) When I first started thinking about this triathlon, I was faced with the internal question of why I am doing this? Initially I just assummed I was filling the competivie void that I have. I have always been an athlete, I love being active. The more I processed this thought though, I realized that my competitiveness is not the driving force here. Quite frankly, I don't care if I come in last place. That is not the reason I am doing it. More than likely, I will come in last place, and for once in my life, I am ok with that. This is going to be such a physical challenge for me that I will be proud even if it takes 3 hours and me rolling to the finish line.

Let me take you through what I will be doing on October 1. This is a "sprint" triathlon, meaning that the distances are shorter than the Olympic style. So, I will begin at 7:00 in the morning with a nice 750 meter (.5 mile) swim in OPEN water. Not the ocean or anything, but it is not a pool. I have no fear about this, I am a fish. I love water and I can swim. I just need to polish up and do some endurance drills and I should be good to go. After I swim I will rush to my Transition area, put on my cycling attire and jump on a bike for a 12 mile ride. (Insert cricket noise here). OK PEOPLE, I don't ride bikes. I am scared to death of bicycles. I get nervous and I get sweaty palms, it's awful. So, here is the real challenge. I have 7 months to learn how to manuveur a bike in a crowd without completely freaking out. THAT is the challenge. I know that physically I can get ready for it. My legs will be ready on race day...it's my mental toughness that is going to get me through the bike ride. After the 12 mile bike ride, I will run for 3.1 miles. Don't see this being a problem, running isn't too bad and it is something I can train for.

I know that this is going to be tough. It is going to require training on days that I don't want to. It is going to require running in the Texas Summer HEAT. It is going to take sacrifices and it is going to be a journey that I have to do on my own. Yes, my family and friends will support me, but in reality it is just me against the race. Am I scared, ABSOLUTELY, but not scared enough to NOT do it. I want to experience life, I want to LIVE OUT LOUD. I want to be physically and mentally fit and this is the way I am choosing to accomplish it. I read this reason for wanting to be a triathlete on a shirt and I LOVE IT. It fits to a tee. SO, here is my #1 reason for wanting to train for a triathlon.

"The Grim Reaper will catch us all one day; but he will have to work hard to catch me. When he finally catches me, you better believe that he will be clutching his chest and gasping for air."

I'm back (sort of)

I have a love/hate relationship with techonology. Love it when it's easy and going my way/hate it when I can't access all that I need.

Sorry my posts have been non existant lately, my computer problems are terrible. I can't post at work and my computer at home has gone completely mad. Plus, my neighborhood is so new that I can't get online without dial up and that is SO LAST decade. HA. I know, I am spoiled rotten.

I have some news that I have been wanting to post...so that my blogger friends can hold me accountable. I signed up for my first sprint triathlon yesterday!!!!! I know, I'm crazy. Crazy! That means that in October I will have to swin for 750 meters (a little less that .5 mile), bike 12 miles and run 3.1 miles. Why? I am still not sure why. I will let you know when I find out. HA. Actually there are plenty of reasons why. First and foremost, I LOVE a physical challenge. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. I love pushing myself beyond my comfortable boundaries. I am confident in my abilities, and I know that this race is 80% mental. That is why I am doing it. I have had issues with my self confidence in the past, so I am going to challenge myself. I know that I can do this, and I can't wait for the opportunity. I started officially "training" about 3 weeks ago. I am starting with running because that is my weakest event. I am excited about it and can't wait to accomplish this task.

I will try to keep you guys up to date on my progess, sorry in advance if this blog becomes my training blog...but that is what I will probably need to hold me accountable.

Until then...