Push

When I was a little girl, I thought love was about flowers and candy and gifts. When I was a teenager, I thought the same thing. When I was in my early twenties, I could have sworn love was about endless passion; nights filled with romance and days filled with sweet phone calls and no problems. I had built an illusion in my mind that love is always happy, with no arguements and no tears.

It wasn't until I fell in love with my husband that I figured out that love is about commitment and patience. It is about compromise and tenderness. It is about loving the person even when you don't like them. You want to know how I learned that? I learned it from observing and experiencing the way that Curt loves me. I am not the easiest person to love. I am moody, I am sky high one day and dragging the next. I am quick to anger, and I am the world's biggest procrastinator. I am picky. I am obsessive. I am stubborn to no end. I can be lazy. I am very peculiar and march to the beat of my own drum. Doesn't sound very appealing does it? :) I used to view all of these idiosyncracies as weaknesses. How can any one love me with all of this going against me? Then here comes Curt. He sees past all of this and he loves me 100%. He is patient, he is generous, he knows exactly what to say to me at any given moment. When I am being stubborn and lazy, he knows exactly when to push me and when to back off. He knows when to kiss my tears away, and when to let them flow. He knows not to talk to me when I first wake up. He knows to ask me if I have homework (otherwise I won't do it). He knows when to get on to me for being an ass, and he knows when to let me make an ass out of myself to learn a lesson. He lets me be who I am, he applauds my individuality. He lets me know he is proud to be with me, and he makes me proud to be with him. When I pick a fight with him, he knows when to fight back and when to let me get it out of my system. He is my sounding board, but he won't let me push him around. He tells me I'm beautiful on the outside, but more beatiful on the inside...and by the look in his eyes, I know he means it. He makes me a better person every day. He knows better than any one how to make me laugh, and there is no limit to how far he will go to make me happy. He is my best friend, he is my partner is this crazy life...but most of all he is the man that taught me what love really is. Here is a song by Sarah McLachlin called Push that is worded perfectly.

Every time I look at you, the world just melts away
all my troubles, all my fears dissolve in your affections
You've seen me at my weakest yet you take me as I am
and when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

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You stay the course
You hold the line
You keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire
You save me
You complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in

I get mad so easy, but you give me space to breathe
no matter what I say or do cause you're too good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go
you won't stoop down to battle me, you never turn to go

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Love is just the antidote
Nothing else can cure me
There are times I can't decide
when I can't tell up from down
You make me feel less crazy, otherwise I'd drown
but you pick me up and brush me off and tell me I'm okay
and sometimes that's just what we need to get us through the day

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